Last Wednesday, our national toilet was willfully clogged so as to allow a tidal wave of sewage to overflow into the streets of Washington and the hallways of our capitol, subjecting the rest of us to horrifying images of Ragtag and Bobtail cavorting and cosplaying in the chambers of Congress, unholy depravity the like of which we have not seen on live television since the Twin Towers collapsed in the morning sun.

We are assured that the wreckers responsible for the deaths of four and the defilement of our most public of spaces shall suffer for their misdeeds. Some shall surely pay for their folly with their lives. But that cannot be enough.

We must demand fealty anew of those who enabled them from places high and low, that they bend the knee and pledge the oath, at the price of their land and their names. Those who refuse we must cast out, far beyond our shores, never to return, perhaps to Madagascar.

And even then that may not be enough. We may need to go further, taking our lead from the Bible’s Book of Esther. An American Purim may be nigh.

Recall the lesson of history and how, after the restoration of Charles II to the English throne, those who had condemned his father themselves faced a reckoning of their own, a painful and punitive process which nevertheless ensured that the preceding Puritan tyranny would never again rear its head over the British Isles. A similar act of political decontamination here and now may well serve to bring balance to our land.

Let’s take back control, America!